He treats me like a unicorn!!!

I get so tired of hearing people say "He treats me like a princess!"  Have you read a book?  Do you even know what that really means?  Are you calling your boyfriend/fiance/husband a servant?  Sure princesses are raised in luxury but I'd say it comes at a pretty steep price.  Call me crazy but I personally have no interest in being treated like a princess.   I don't want to have to smile & wave and pretend that I love this person my parents are selling me to for land or wealth or some title.

(Sidebar: 99% of you who think you are being 'treated like a princess' are actually just being treated like a human/equal, you just don't realize it because all your other boyfriends REALLY REALLY sucked).

 Princesses lives kind of sucked if you think about it and I find it disturbing that this is the terminology that we used to say "I want to be treated like I'm special."   So I am here to propose a better way of saying "My boyfriend is better than yours" , I think we should all start saying "he treats me like a unicorn!"  Because, well if I'm being honest there is NOTHING cooler than a unicorn.  If you saw a unicorn you would be in awe of it,  you would be absolutely enchanted with it and try to make the most of your time together because you know that it might not be there tomorrow.

So the next time you hear someone say they get treated like a princess laugh to yourself and pity the fool.

Stop being an asshat on Facebook (also probably in real life too)

Part I

Hey you! The idiot on Facebook complaining about how you are "SOOOO BORED!",  you are THE WORST.  Let me break this down for you...you are sitting on the internet. If you don't know, the internet contains a MASSIVE amount of information, about damn near everything.  This is like sitting in the middle of the biggest, best, restaurant in the world that literally serves everything and whining about being hungry.   WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  Google something, anything that you are interested in.  Read.  Research.  Watch Hulu or YouTube tutorials or porn!  Look for new local places to eat or drink.  Or here is another idea....just find something to do away from the computer/iPhone.  Don't get online to tell people you are bored, you are wasting time you could use to go to the library or go outside or go to the gym or just sit mindlessly in front of your TV.  Maybe I'm just very easily entertained (I totally am), but I don't see the point of complaining about being bored and it makes me rage like a crazy person when I see people bitching about it online. Put down the device.  No one gives a crap that you are bored.  You are just making yourself look stupid and BORING.

Part II

It's so sad when someone's relationship status on Facebook changes to "single", not because of the person's new-found freedom but because of all the comments that people leave.  I typically see things like "I'm sorry!" or "DISLIKE!" when someone is newly single and it makes me irrationally angry.  Being single isn't a bad thing.  Clearly something SHITTY happened in their relationship and you should be glad they got out.

I don't comment on people's relationship status changes because I know that Facebook will for some reason not let you totally "hide" it when you make a change to it.  99% of the time people are going to get asked "What happened?" or something equally stupid.  Here is a tip: if you don't know what happened there is a good chance that they don't want you to know.  Their good friends, you know, the real friends they actually like and hang out with outside of Facebook?  They know what happened.  They will help them get through it if they are having a hard time.  Stop being nosy, stop trying to find new gossip information.  Trust me, if they want to put their relationship problems on blast on Facebook they will do so without any prompting.  (I have a few of those idiots blocked from my Newsfeed).

So basically just shut your mouth.  If they want you to know what happened they will tell you.  If they are sad about being single they will tell you. If they don't tell you then you aren't close enough to them to matter. So leave them the hell alone about it and go back to posting about how "bored" you are.

P.S.

The sad thing is that the people who NEED to read this never will because they are too lazy to read anything longer than a Facebook status.

summer time and the livin's easy

You know that you are bogged down by school work when you feel like you deserve some sort of medal when you finish it.  And by "it" I mean one class' assignments for the week. I'm currently in three classes..so I should be pretty decked out in bling by the end of micro-semester.  So that's my excuse, school is kicking my ass and taking up most of my time. Thus I have fallen behind in "things I actually want to do for a living" like blogging, painting, and being a professional rollerskate-dancer.

I am about to go help Alden with his summer school work which involves reading 30 books and learning several spelling words.  He also signed up for the Summer Reading Club at the library and if he reads 35 books he will get some sort of surprise.  I have to say I'm pretty jealous, he has read 10 books in the past 2 days and I have only read 8 this entire year.  I wish I had time to sit down and really read "A Clash of Kings" (I'm only on page 300 or so)  but real life boring adult stuff beckons.

So for now I am just going to leave you with some music I've been jamming to lately.  Some of them are old but they are still my summer jams. They are also really random because that's just how I roll.  Maybe you'll find something you like.

This song makes me want to go on a roadtrip.

This song makes me want to read "Lolita" in my yard.

This song makes me wish I had time to play my ukulele.

This song makes me dance my ass off.

This song makes me want so swing on a swingset barefoot. 

(P.S. I'm going to see them in October & I am SO EXCITED!)

I love hooping to this song.

Another dancey song.

Riding with the windows down screaming.

Good summer fun.

Why won't he be my boyfriend? :(

Old school.

They are still my favorite band ever. They will be on every playlist I ever make.

IDGAF.

a prediction of what will likely be my reaction to this evening's events

"when I was your age"

One of the worst parts of getting older is that you find yourself saying things that your parents said when you were going up.

*sigh* "Kids these days..."
"When I was your age..."
"You don't know how good you have it..."

This morning I found myself saying "When I was your age" and it really freaked me out.  I don't like thinking about the fact that I'm technically an adult person and I certainly don't like thinking about the fact that I'm now closer to thirty than I am to twenty.

This morning I handed Alden my phone for a second so that I could help him get ready to go to the bus stop.   I told him "Here hold this, if it says 6:00 before I take it back from you let me know."  (Yes, his bus comes obscenely early).   Within a minute the phone went black so the time on the screen was no longer visible.  He then pushed the "Menu" button to make it light back up.  Since my phone is shitty and doesn't lock like it's supposed to pushing that button actually brought up the menu with several options on the screen.  He immediately started tapping on them with his finger.  Then he announced "Mama, it's broken!" Then it dawned on me...he has no idea that my phone isn't a touch screen because everyone else's phones are.

So of course I said "This is an older phone. You have to push buttons, you don't make it go with the touch screen. When I was your age no one I knew even HAD a cell phone. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 16 and it was way too big to shove in my pocket."  I kind of rolled my eyes at myself after having heard what I said because it sounded so old and strange coming from my mouth.  Then the reality of the situation began to hit me.

He will never have a phone with buttons, he will never carry around a Nokia with the size (and durability) of a brick.  He has an iPad and an iPod and no idea that not all cell phones are touch screen activated.  He only goes to one house regularly that even has a home phone line.  He has no concept of payphones or pagers and he probably never will.

The fact that I remember getting a cordless home phone and a MASSIVE computer and them both being "kind of a big deal" at that point in time seems so strange now.  It makes me wonder what kind of crazy contraptions they'll have out in 20 more years that will make him roll his eyes about how when he was a kid all that he had was an iPad 2 and a flat screen computer.  I can't wait to start calling him asking questions the equivalent to those I've gotten from my elders such as "OMG HELP! I DELETED THE RECYCLE BIN! NOW I CAN'T DELETE ANYTHING!" or of course the "I DELETED THE INTERNET!" that I'm sure we've all heard at least once.  I just hope he's still nice enough to drive me around town in his hovercraft when I'm too old to see properly.

How to Accidentally Tell on Your Future Self

‎"Should you really be watching Family Guy?" - me
"I'm sorry!" - Alden
-two seconds of silence-
"FOUR MINUTES LATER. I forgot, I'm sorry!" - Alden
"SPOILERS ALDEN! SPOILERS!" - Me

the evolution of strong female characters

Earlier today I was on tumblr reblogging things as nerds and fangirls often do.  I was then reminded of something I've wanted to write about but had forgotten about. Strong female leads in TV shows.  As a female and a feminist I am attracted to media with strong female leads.  I'm not saying there aren't problems with how strong female leads are portrayed in books and movies but today I want to talk about television specifically.

As I said I was on tumblr and I reblogged a photoset of a show I'm a pretty big fan of.  The image was of promo shots from each season of the show.  In the first image the female lead has short hair, folded arms, "natural makeup" (meaning that she looks as if she isn't wearing any), and she is showing absolutely no skin except for her face, neck and part of her hand.  In the second season promo her hair is a bit longer, she still has "natural makeup", she is posed sitting casually on her desk, but her top is low cut.  Our season three photo has our star with full on pretty wavy hair and makeup, she has on a button down shirt unbuttoned to show quite a lot of sideboob, she is posing back to back with our male lead with their hands out reaching toward the audience because they are handcuffed together.  Finally, the fourth season promo more closely resembles a makeup advertisement than a TV show one.  She looks like she should be advertising mascara, her makeup is perfect, and her teeth are unnaturally white.  The whole ad is heavily photohopped except for our male lead's eye wrinkles, because guys get hotter as they age and women have to have the skin of infants forever or be shamed.  How dare we live another year and get older?!

The reason I wanted to write this is because this is not the only show that this happened on.  In fact I am watching more than one show right now where this exact same thing has happened.  In the beginning they make the female character as masculine as possible so that she can be taken seriously by the audience.  Then as the show progresses she's allowed to wear a little makeup, then show some skin, then she will be allowed to have feelings besides "hard", "cold" and "wanting to kick everyone's ass".  This is a problem for a multitude of reasons.

First off why do women have to come into the show as masculine to be seen as a strong lead?  Secondly, if they decide to downplay the makeup and hair in the first seasons then why not continue to do so?  Why does every female lead suddenly turn into a glamour model around season three?  It irks me.  Does this bother anyone else?   Can you think of any shows that don't follow this trope?  Buffy is the only one I can think of off the top of my head.


(I intentionally did not specify the show because it doesn't matter what show it is, it matters that we recognize that this is a problematic trope.)